For the first time in the country, Brown Apron is proud to launch the new Shakti Anda online. This new type of egg looks seemingly ordinarily on the outside, and shatters just as easily as any normal egg, but holds a hidden, legendary strength. Created by our scientists from a rare strain of DNA from both an ostrich and emu, this egg is a first-of-its-kind GMO with the power to change the meaning of nutrition for the entire planet.
That’s right. What we’re about to show you is the single biggest development in the history of nutrition. The Shakti Anda is proudly made in India, and boasts of nutritional value that no food can even hope to provide. Its protein content alone, is the same as that of approximately 50 chicken eggs! Apart from that, a single Shakti Anda has the overall nutritional value of nearly 25 normal eggs of any kind.
Just what does that mean for not just you, but the entire world?
1. The end of memory and cognitive troubles
Eggs have always been known to enhance memory and concentration power. In the clinical trials we conducted for Shakti Anda, subjects who consumed the Shakti Anda every day consistently showed an IQ increase by 4% every day, and an overall increase in memory power by 23.75% every week. At the end of one month of trials, all of our subjects could memorise and recite three dictionaries from memory.
2. The end of malnutrition
A single Shakti Anda can provide upto an entire week’s worth of nutrition for a human beings. We hope to work with the WHO and the UN to distribute this egg globally, particularly in disaster regions and areas of mass poverty, to bring about the end of malnutrition as we know it.
3. Physical fitness for all
The sheer volume of protein in Shakti Anda also means that getting fit will now take a lot less effort. This means that those who find it difficult or painful to exercise, will now start seeing amazing results with even a 5 minute walk, or 4 pushups a day. The Shakti Anda clinical trials saw a diverse range of slim, obese, morbidly obese, unfit, and malnutritioned individuals. In the span of merely one month, all of our subjects weighed over 260 lbs with only muscle. For comparison, this was the weight of Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime. Our subjects had to put in merely a fraction of the exercise.
4. Unlocking the true potential of the human body
It is believed that this human body is capable of living for over a hundred years with minimal health conditions related to old age, provided the conditions are right. With Shakti Anda, we have noticed significant anatomical enhancements in our test subjects that are pending investigation. We believe that with regular consumption of this egg, it is not only possible to enhance the lifespan of human beings by over a 100 years, but also unlock hidden abilities that we never knew existed.
Even though we have conducted clinical trials for Shakti Anda for over one month, and worked hard with the government to earn licenses and approvals, we know that we have barely scratched the surface of the true power of this egg. From what we know so far, this development has the power to change the world forever, and possibly bring about the next evolution of humankind.
With all these benefits, it would be fair to assume that this new product will come at an exorbitant price. But that will not be the case. Brown Apron is proud to launch the new Shakti Anda on the app today, at an effective price of……….
Because you’ve just been April fooled! While we’d all love to see something like this become a reality, it simply doesn’t exist today. However, if someone ever does create a food like this, gently remind them that we thought about it first.
Share this blog to prank someone else! Happy April Fools’ Day!